Ah shit j'ai pogné le cancer (Tome 2) by Maude Schiltz

By Maude Schiltz

- Êtes-vous prête, madame? C'est demain qu'on vous opère pour retirer vos treize tumeurs. On va en profiter pour enlever vos deux seins et vos deux mamelons en même temps.
- Prête? Euh... non, pantoute! Mais tsé, j'ai-tu vraiment le choix...
- Une autre selected, aussi: on va vour remettre en chimio.
- Ah, guy! ENCORE?!! Pfff... okay d'abord, convey it on, mais pas sans mes emails à mes pals par exemple... On va faire ça en gang!

***

Si j'ai accepté qu'on publie le deuxième volet de ma correspondance intime, c'est que j'aurais moi-même european besoin de lire un livre qui m'aurait montré ce qui m'attendait, qui aurait répondu à plein de mes questions, qui m'aurait expliqué ma maladie de façon uncomplicated et qui m'aurait fourni des astuces pour faciliter ma regimen de cancéreuse, mais je n'en ai pas trouvé.

Et comme pour le tome 1 de mon histoire, je préfère vous prévenir: il faut vous attendre à un langage parlé, à des sacres et à du franglais; à des bouts drôles comme à des bouts tristes; à des réflexions ou à des images qui dérangent; à des codes QR que vous aurez le choix de scanner ou non avec votre téléphone; mais surtout, à des infos que personne n'ose répéter à propos du melanoma et de ses traitements. Bref, on va se dire les vraies affaires...

Êtes-vous video game? Moi, oui!

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Extra resources for Ah shit j'ai pogné le cancer (Tome 2)

Sample text

She had kids to raise, meals to put on the table, laundry to wash, games to get the kids to, all those things a mom does,’’ according to my dad, William (‘‘Bill’’) P. Anderson Jr. ’’ What Is She Feeling as a Daughter? My wife is a ‘‘daddy’s girl,’’ so to Sharon, her father was the hardest person of all to tell about her diagnosis. ‘‘When I told daddy, he dropped the phone,’’ Sharon recalls. ‘‘I was crying so hard because I knew how much it hurt him. I was so hurt about what I had done to him.

The first person she called for help was Anne. Caryl was my mom’s best friend. ••• Twenty years later, and several cancer recurrences after, Caryl traveled to New York City to appear in a TV breast cancer campaign for 16 Stand by Her Lifetime Television called ‘‘Stop Breast Cancer for Life,’’ standing alongside my wife, Sharon, who was still undergoing chemotherapy. I directed the spots. Caryl and Sharon are still here today. So is my sister Mary. My mom unfortunately didn’t make it; after ten years of battle, she died on March 14, 1988.

Your role here is to remind her that everything is going to be okay and that you are there, just for her. You are now the primary caregiver for her. Back when you first agreed to be her husband, you promised to be a caregiver if she ever got sick. ’’ The fascinating thing about this vow, which incidentally is derived from the Book of Common Prayer, is that the ‘‘in sickness and in health’’ phrase is the only sequence in the vow where the negative event is proclaimed before the positive one. Maybe that’s because it’s the hardest thing of all to do in a marriage.

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